Bob's Yer Uncle!

BYU on Hiatus

Zan — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 09:09:00 +0000

Hi Everyone,

This is a post to tell you all what is already self-evident, namely that Bob’s Yer Uncle! is on hiatus until further notice. We’re all well (all three of us) and everything’s fine, but work and family obligations have made it impossible for us to keep producing shows for the time being. The website will be staying up and hopefully it won’t be too long before we can get back to recording, but we don’t know exactly what the future holds. Thanks for bearing with us, and if you get really bored you can always listen to an old episode or try the The Corridor audio novel if you haven’t already.

Take care, thanks for all your support, and we hope to be speaking to you again soon,

Zan and Jana.

#80 - The Christmas Eve Eve Edition.

Zan — Sun, 23 Dec 2007 02:19:25 +0000

This was supposed to be a short show to wish everyone well for the festive season, but it blew out because we spent so long covering listener toy and present stories and reminiscing about cool toys from the 1970s. Have a great New Year and you’ll hear from us in 2008!

#79 - The Bobspawn Edition.

Zan — Tue, 11 Dec 2007 23:34:18 +0000

In this show:

Zan and Jana try to sound serious and knowledgeable about pressing issues of the day, such as the climate change talks in Bali and the question of why Australians’ quality of life is supposed to be so good when we neglect education and overrun our country with hallucinogen-secreting toads
things to do in Melbourne
an Amateur Cognitive Science update on colours and perception
and a poignant tale of parental abandonment recounted live on air by Uncle Bob.

#78 - The Bye-bye Johnny Edition.

Zan — Fri, 23 Nov 2007 21:40:50 +0000

It’s election night in Oz, and as Jana ignores him and watches the TV coverage, Zan talks to himself about

Australian bees end their The Fugitive-style quest to prove their innocence.
Finally, an all-in-one craft toy and date-rape drug solution.
Misogynist santas.
and in an all-new Amateur Cognitive Science, we ask, Did Achilles only have half a brain?

Morning after election day update: Labor has won the federal election; John Howard’s seat could still go either way, with Labor slightly ahead.

#77 - It’s A Little Old Game Where We Can Get Together.

Zan — Fri, 19 Oct 2007 22:51:02 +0000

This week on Bob’s Yer Uncle!:

• snorting sewage.

•swearing at work to boost productivity versus wanking at work to boost productivity.

• Plus a special Smut Report review, thanks to Auke at Love Chess.

Remember, our new US phone number is 206 350-8626.

#76 - The Exersaucer Edition.

Zan — Sun, 07 Oct 2007 05:08:40 +0000

Yeah, yeah, we know we’ve been lazy lately. Sue us.This week we wonder which foreign threat will destroy Australia first, Africans or the Internet? We also discuss some news items about people with unexpected numbers of body parts, and Jana presents a new Things that are Dumb.

#75 - The Morally Dubious Edition.

Zan — Sun, 16 Sep 2007 02:29:57 +0000

This week on the show:

First Paul Hogan, then Russell Crowe, now bees - yet another reason why the US should close its borders to Australian imports.
Israeli Nazis.
Marital advice for listener Vibeeen.
and a brand new segment.

I know we said we’d be back next week at the end of the show, but that was because we’d forgotten that we’ll be away next weekend. We’ll be back in two weeks.

#74 - The Colombian Sex Research Edition.

Zan — Sat, 08 Sep 2007 05:52:47 +0000

We recorded this show last weekend, but I held off posting it because we were supposed to be moving to a new server early this week and I thought I’d post it after the move. However, there was a hold-up with the domain registration transfer, and things took longer than expected, so the show’s a week late. We won’t post another show this weekend, but things will return to normal next weekend (we don’t want to waste too much of the time we could spend talking about George W. Bush’s visit to Australia for the OPEC - I mean APEC - meeting).

#73 - The Pineapple-Flavoured Edition.

Zan — Mon, 27 Aug 2007 01:08:30 +0000

We’re back! Is anyone still here? If so, you can listen to us talk on topics including:

* What Zan and Jana have been doing for the past month-and-a-half (this topic only takes about 3.5 seconds to cover).
* See you in hell, Little Johnny Howard!
* And a much-anticipated Smut Report, in which we discuss the world’s creepiest sex toy, prescribing semen to suicidal college students, and how men can mix up a refreshing tropical thirst-quencher in their prostates.

#72 - The Little Bradley Show

Zan — Sun, 10 Jun 2007 02:42:47 +0000

This week on Bob’s Yer Uncle!:

* We give you what will hopefully be the last piece of muffin top news ever.
* Tony Mokbel, wig-wearing gangster groupie.
* Is any sitcom original enough to be worth copying?
* And Uncle Bob shares his thoughts on the miracle of fatherhood.

#71 - Let Them Eat Cake

Zan — Sun, 03 Jun 2007 00:59:27 +0000

This week:

* Goodbye Battlestar Galactica, hello Peepshow.

* Let’s all say ‘No way’ with Latawnya the naughty horse.

* And Jana talks about cakes in a new Cooking with Jana.

#70 - How to Look Like a Cow.

Zan — Sat, 26 May 2007 07:39:21 +0000

In this show:

* stoned voicemails
* a not very good definition of bloody mindedness
* why having a barbaric public health system is a good thing
* and a new Amateur Cognitive Science featuring animals, autism, artifical intelligence, eyes, hypnosis, and psychological experiments
* P.S. it turns out that the yabby is a kind of crayfish, just a very small one.

#69 - The Big Stuff Edition

Zan — Sat, 28 Apr 2007 04:32:11 +0000

This week:

* Why we hate our neighbours.

* Big Canadian things versus big Australian things.

* A parenthood update.

#68 - The Catch-Up Edition

Zan — Sun, 22 Apr 2007 05:34:03 +0000

We’re back and have a lot of catching up to do. You don’t need a breakdown - it’s just a long, meandering show where we try to cover all the things we’ve been neglecting.

And introducing…

Jana — Tue, 27 Feb 2007 06:45:36 +0000

…the beautiful, the perfect, the aDORable…

Miss Abigail Pearl.

Who made her entrance into the world on February 23rd, 2007 at 1.35pm.Â This makes her a Pisces, born on the cusp of Aquarius, and a little Chinese Pig(let).

Thank you so much everyone for all your good wishes.Â Zan printed them out and brought them to me in hospital, where I enjoyed them in between my exciting schedule of Dr Phil, knitting, DVDs and my thrilling once a day trip to the shower.

Some might say my rant about medicalised childbirth bit me in the bum big time, and I’m bound to say that I agree with them.Â Certainly knocked me off my smug, perfect pregnancy pedestal.Â Still, we managed it so that the main event provided a peaceful, healthy and loving beginning for our precious girl, even if it wasn’t so peaceful for her parents.

We will be back podcasting very soon, and here is a challenge for all of you - we need a nom de plume for little miss Abi.Â Gleek is taken, obviously.

Love to you all.

Jana

BYU on hiatus

Zan — Sun, 18 Feb 2007 00:39:16 +0000

Hi Listeners,

It looks like wondertwin junior will be arriving early, which is why we haven’t been recording shows lately. Jana and baby are doing fine, but have to stay in hospital under observation until the birth (so Jana’s been getting plenty of the medical attention she didn’t want). I’ll post more information as it comes to hand.

Zan.

#67 - The Sloth/Bees/Babies Edition

Zan — Sat, 03 Feb 2007 10:12:26 +0000

This week we introduce our new sloth/bees/babies focus for the show with:

* Sloth
* A great many Tvindy voicemails
* Bees
* Possible immigration destinations for the coming environmental apocalypse.
* More sloth
* The Australian Flag
* More Bees

And, in a new Things that are Dumb, Jana talks about the medicalisation of chilbirth (that’s the babies part).

#66 - The Un-Australia Day Edition

Zan — Sat, 27 Jan 2007 23:48:52 +0000

It’s Australia Day again, and time to glorify this great nation with various backhanded compliments and outright insults. We talk about the good and the bad of the wide brown land, then review some good and bad Australian movies: Head On; One Perfect Day; and Candy.

#65 - The 3D Rooter Edition

Zan — Wed, 24 Jan 2007 04:07:47 +0000

It’s time for another Smut Report this week. After discussing horrendously large breasts and anal sex workshops, we look at pornographic computer games.

#64 - The Canine Prostitute Edition

Zan — Sun, 21 Jan 2007 07:06:25 +0000

This week, come for the light-hearted discussion of mass death, then stay for talk of:* Babel.* Australia, the movie.* Jana’s hatred of Hugh Jackman.* Fucked-up male actors.* Japanese noodles and Japanese beards.* Myth-translations.* A Baby update.We’ll be back on Wednesday with a new Smut Report.

#63 - The Retarded Vulcan Stranger Edition

Zan — Sat, 13 Jan 2007 08:47:46 +0000

It’s a good, old-fashioned, single long show this week, featuring:

* Momofuku Ando, we hardly knew ye.
* Zan and Jana’s backyard beach resort.
* Bindimania.
* Idiotic adventurers.
* Silly surnames.
* and 21 Jump Street.

Plus a new Amateur Cognitive Science.

Erratum: 21 Jump Street starred Richard Grieco, not Australian full-contact fighter Sam Greco. Neither is related to Cheaters host Joey Greco.

#62 - Kissing the Latex

Zan — Wed, 10 Jan 2007 02:38:31 +0000

In our second show for the week, we chat about Realdoll lovers and undergoing IVF to avoid sex, and bring you a new Cooking with Jana.

#61 - The Wonky Weather Edition

Zan — Sat, 06 Jan 2007 07:14:23 +0000

It’s our first show for 2007, and time to have a chin-wag about:

* Freaky weather.
* Is the Southern Hemisphere the worst hemisphere?
* Summer Christmases.
* Our anniversary celebrations.
* James Bond and a martini update.
* Lame superheroes.

#60 - The Actual Christmas Edition

Zan — Sat, 23 Dec 2006 02:25:41 +0000

‘Tis the season for debunking Christmas traditions by drawing attention to their pagan origins. If you’re Jana, ’tis also the season for thinking about arranged marriages and complaining about James Bond.

Enjoy the festivities, everyone!

#59 - Not the Christmas Edition.

Zan — Sun, 17 Dec 2006 06:14:18 +0000

In our pre-pre-Christmas show, we cover listener correspondence and news stories, including pavlova making, Japanese breasts, circumcision, scantily-clad road sign holders, chocolate crackles, and languages.

#58 - The Bushfire Barbecue Edition.

Zan — Sun, 10 Dec 2006 01:29:20 +0000

This week:

* Australia: beautiful one day, on fire the next.
* Beautiful languages and nauseating languages.
* Personalised number plates.
* Push-up underwear.
* William Shatner speaking Esperanto.
* Cooking with Jana.

#57 - The Seal Blubber Insulated Edition

Zan — Tue, 05 Dec 2006 23:03:55 +0000

Carrying on from recording our last show, we make an abortive attempt at preliminary patter before putting a call through to Uncle Bob. Uncle Bob helps with a community service announcement before sharing an inspiring tale of Arctic survival.

#56 - The Erroneously Unmasked Edition

Zan — Sat, 02 Dec 2006 01:31:38 +0000

In this exciting show you’ll get:

* Annoying jackhammer noises from next door.
* A hippy birthing class report.
* Shooting clingfilm into space.
* The dollar value of Bob’s Yer Uncle!.
* Rage at Placid Lake.
* Are Zan and Jana Ben Lee and Rose Byrne? (Hint: if Zan were Ben Lee, the song at the end of the show would sound a lot better.)

Uncle Bob will be back on Wednesday.

#55 - The Common Sense Edition

Zan — Fri, 24 Nov 2006 21:03:16 +0000

Any right-minded person would want to listen to this show. It features stupidology, right wing ranters, and Zan’s salute to Aussie ingenuity.

#54 - Lord of the Podcasts

Zan — Sun, 19 Nov 2006 05:55:03 +0000

This week:

* Michael Flatley (Lord of the Dance).
* Letting the stingray of love pierce your heart.
* Jana tallies up the replacement value of her handbag.

Sorry there were some technical difficulties with this recording. If Zan’s audio interface needs to be replaced again, future shows will have to be cancelled following his suicide.

#53 - The High-Waisted Acidwash Jeans Edition

Zan — Sun, 12 Nov 2006 04:15:52 +0000

This week, you can hear all about Zan and Jana’s exciting plans for watering their garden, as well as Australia’s winning strategy in Iraq, Jana’s fascinating experiences at the swimming pool, and more on Dogs in Space and zombies and horror.

And there are more thoughtful silences when, in Getting to Know Zan and Jana, we get to know Jana.

#52 - The Greeny Green-Green Edition

Zan — Wed, 08 Nov 2006 08:25:16 +0000

In this show, we catch up on voicemails from Tvindy, Will and Adam, and hear an audio promo for Radio Free Marist.

Then Jana invents a new segment: Getting to Know Zan and Jana.

#51 - The Australian Values Edition

Zan — Sat, 04 Nov 2006 01:52:59 +0000

Another two show week:

* The great Star Trek controversy.
* Belated 50 shows/one year anniversary announcement.
* Jana as Linda Blair.
* A not very comprehensive list of great literary rip-offs.
* Boring political discussion.
* Whinging Poms.

#50 - The Zombie Zeitgeist Edition

Zan — Sat, 28 Oct 2006 06:11:13 +0000

This week we have a predictably Halloween-themed episode, featuring scary sound effects such as the eerie sound of earthmoving equipment from next door.

Not to mention:
* Slither.
* Movie monsters.
* Donald Sutherland’s scary 1970s movies, like Invasion of the Body Snatchers and Don’t Look Now.
* Japanese ghost stories.
* And some spine-chilling Bob’s Yer Uncle! radio theatre.

#49 - The Futuristic Edition

Zan — Wed, 25 Oct 2006 04:44:09 +0000

In this show:

* Radio technique and annoying television journalist voices.
* Jana hates Philip Adams.
* And a new Things that are Dumb.

Please fill in a BYU survey!

Zan — Sun, 22 Oct 2006 08:41:33 +0000

#48 - The Justice and Order Edition

Zan — Sun, 22 Oct 2006 06:57:04 +0000

This week, as our show lengths continue to spiral out of control, we have:

* Plenty of listener wisdom.
* Television rots your brains, and so does being fat.
* Is it unmanly to pee sitting down?
* Iraq-related fuck-ups.

Don’t forget to fill in our first BYU Survey.

#47 - The Pavlovian Edition

Zan — Wed, 18 Oct 2006 00:47:27 +0000

In our second show for the week, we start with voicemail comments covering autism, card counting horses, more Soccergirl angst, podcast directories, obscure medical conditions, a professional medical perspective on the career of Pat Morita, hats with corks on them, old ment’s clothes, Japanese etiquette, Morris dancing and Irish dancing.

Then it’s time for a new Cooking with Jana.

#46 - The La-Las Edition

Zan — Sat, 14 Oct 2006 09:29:42 +0000

* Swimming pool violence and Taiji Quan. Is wearing flippers in the pool cheating?
* Trugo.
* Stupid terms for poo, toilets and genitals.
* Being gangbanged by three clones of Lieutenant Daniels.
* Internet libel, accents, and Jana’s big news.

#45 - The Superbeak Edition

Zan — Wed, 11 Oct 2006 02:29:36 +0000

It’s our second show for the week and our voices are starting to sound husky from talking too much. We barely have time to talk about wedding reality TV before getting down to a discussion of art and the brain. That’s pretty much all there is to say about this show, so if these show notes are too short for your taste, just read the show notes from show 44 again.

#44 - The Snufflupugus Effect

Zan — Fri, 06 Oct 2006 23:25:50 +0000

On a sunny Melbourne Saturday with the sound of a Japanese windchime in the background, we record a long first show for the week. This show gives an unprecedented glimpse into the innermost thoughts of Zan and Jana.

Thanks to Dr John from the Dr John and Dr Lorne Show for his list of questions, and Will from the Youngest of One blog and Youngcast for his voicemail.

Topics covered include:
* The death of olympic sprinter and glove advisor Peter Norman.
* You can breed your own rainman.
* Trainspotting versus bus spotting.
* Blokey soup.
* Pat Morita.
* Why wasn’t Bill Hunter in The Lord of the Rings?
* Hypnotism.
* Acupuncture.
* Paying for podcasts.
* Remaining incognito.

How could you possibly want more after all that? Hopefully you do because there will be a Amateur Cognitive Science segment on Wednesday.

#43 - The Swinging Sadhu Edition

Zan — Wed, 04 Oct 2006 07:04:55 +0000

In part two of this week’s show, it’s time for another Smut Report. Find out all about the joys of stretching, cutting off, throwing, replacing or admiring one of nature’s wonders - the penis.

#42 - The Musca Domestica Edition

Zan — Sat, 30 Sep 2006 09:14:40 +0000

In the first of two shorter shows for the week:

* Flies
* Does Jana want to be gang-banged by football players?
* More flies
* East Timor on Australian TV and David Wenham.

There will be a new Smut Report on Wednesday.

Tvindy’s sushi videos are linked in his comment for show 38. Watch them; they’re funny.

#41 - The Gochisosama deshita Edition

Zan — Sat, 23 Sep 2006 02:20:27 +0000

On Bob’s Yer Uncle! this week:

* Drinking room temperature beer
* Morris dancing is stupid
* Remaking Kath and Kim

And a bumper Japanese-themed Cooking with Jana.

Happy Koala Stomping Day!

Zan — Sat, 16 Sep 2006 05:02:39 +0000

International listeners may not know that today is Koala Stomping Day, an important event on the Australian calendar. This year, to honour the memory of Steve Irwin, the Australian government has decreed that every Australian must stomp on two koalas, rather than the customary one. As a result, we have been too busy applying our boots to Australian native fauna to record a show - sorry guys. We’ll be back next weekend, we promise.

Please Note: Zan and Jana do not guarantee the truthfulness of any excuses which might be given on this web page.

#40 - The ‘Right Hand in a Gripping Circle Moved to Open Mouth Quickly’ Edition

Zan — Wed, 13 Sep 2006 01:10:05 +0000

In our second show for the week, we discuss listener contributions, sign language obscenities, beer brewing 101, Pornography: The Musical, and ask, Where’s the best place to hang a Texan flag?

Then it’s time to hear the story of Monsieur Bob, Intimate Barber, in another What Would Uncle Bob Do?

#39 - The Bogle Burlesque

Zan — Sun, 10 Sep 2006 01:52:41 +0000

We’re back to the two-show format this week. In our first show, we give a half-hearted tribute to Steve Irwin, the crocodile hunter, and then Zan presents his argument for why race-based teams in Survivor are good.
Plus:
* The Black Vulcan theme.
* The Bogle and Chandler mystery.
* Burlesque - the entertainment form no-one particularly wants to see.

#38 - Out-Worship. Out-Pray. Out-Believe.

Zan — Sun, 03 Sep 2006 05:41:12 +0000

This week, Zan and Jana continue to harp on about Monkey Magic like big nerds. We also give a mini-review of the new Australian comedy film Kenny, and talk about Natascha Kampusch, horny UN peacekeepers and celebrity turds.

Plus:
* M. Night Shyamalan makes Zan yawn.
* National flags, republicanism and elected officials.
* Survivor: Crusade Edition.
* and a new Cooking with Jana.

#37 - The Hades Edition

Zan — Sun, 27 Aug 2006 03:06:19 +0000

In this episode:
* Poor old Pluto
* Mythological underworlds
* The joys of Who Wants to be a Superhero?
* Tom Cruise is still mad
* The Dianetics van
* The joys of Monkey Magic
* Beetle-faced superheroes

And then a new Smut Report, with sexy professions, an extra penis update, porn choreography, and a movie review courtesy of listener Steven from Watsonia. Plus, Jana throws down the gauntlet with a porn movie recommendation challenge for you, the listener.

#36 - The Radioactive Mutant Edition Returns

Zan — Sat, 19 Aug 2006 10:41:57 +0000

It’s time for our second superhero special, featuring: a Superfriends overdose; showbags; Monkey Magic; Who Wants To Be A Superhero?; real-life superheroes like Doktor DiscorD™; superhero religions; Ultraman versus Tobu World Square; the Spectreman song; wondertwins spoofs; more Bob’s Yer Uncle radio theatre and a Zan and Jayna singalong.