Sat 27 May 2006
Surrounded by packing boxes and plagued by technical problems, this show sounds like we’re phoning it in on a Fisher-Price walkie-talkie. We try to keep things short, mostly just dealing with listener correspondence. Hopefully things will be better next week when we’re recording in our new house, but we didn’t want to miss a show. If this is your first time listening to the show, don’t listen to this episode - try an ealier one before you judge us.
May 28th, 2006 at 7:02 pm
i don’t listen to the show for the audio quality, but rather for lines like, ‘a rather swish restaurant’. adorable.
andy.
May 28th, 2006 at 7:14 pm
btw, forget the talk about dogs in the background, what exactly is in the *back* ground at 13:48?
andy.
ps. forgive my poor attempt at a pun.
May 28th, 2006 at 10:24 pm
I will listen to Zan and Jana recorded through two tin cans and a string.
I hope you guys have as pleasant a move as possible.
May 28th, 2006 at 10:57 pm
I am putting in my vote for a rather severe reduction of afterbirth detritus stories.
May 28th, 2006 at 11:18 pm
I haven’t listened yet, but I think all the hype about the importance of sound quality is overdone. As long as I can easily make out the words, I’m happy.
May 29th, 2006 at 1:58 am
I’d rather have better quality haha…i dunno about the tin can on a string. Good show i enjoyed it.
May 29th, 2006 at 2:20 am
p.s…anybody listen to soccergirl because if you do you will notice i ripped one of those sound effects from the show haha
May 30th, 2006 at 2:00 am
Hey this isnt bad sound quality..if you want bad listen to our show..lol. Hey .I heard mention Jana was curious about what hospitals see when people come in with ” things rammed up the backside ” . Im working on a list . Youd be surprised by some…not so much by others.Good luck on the move…Im in the middle of one as we speak..Yikes..lottsa work……….!!
May 30th, 2006 at 5:03 am
Hey! Sounds like shit today!
Nah, you sound fine at any bitrate. The content’s the thing.
Ooooh! I’m a hardcore listener! I’m posting!
May 30th, 2006 at 7:47 am
Hi Friends,
With all do respect to the good doctor, prosthetic legs indeed have articulating knees. A friend of mine has a new, quite complicated German made one. It utilizes high-tech materials and a tiny hydraulic system to adjust for gait, kick, and knee lock for weight bearing. Similar knees have been around for many years.
He says the worst thing about the knee is that he now craves sauerkraut and polka music, he finds leiderhozen extremely sexy, and his leg aches whenever he sees a VW in a scrap yard.
wa wa waaa!
Oh ya, … in my circle “c*nt” is a word of last resort. It’s more like throwing rocks after using up your nuclear weapons!
btw, Bastan Rab, iz wicked smat!
May 30th, 2006 at 1:02 pm
I hope the move goes well! I’m living vicariously through it. Envy, envy, envy…
The lo-fi recording was kind of neat, like listening over a shortwave radio.
I’m able to make out most of the Aussie slang you use, but really, what does “swishy” mean? At first I thought it was a Swiss restaurant, but on second listen, swishy?
I also almost laughed outloud in bed when Jana couldn’t figure out why she mentioned jousting.
May 30th, 2006 at 5:54 pm
Thanks for not caring about the low sound quality, guys. We’d always rather do a show that sounds like shite than not do a show at all, but I’d much prefer to have the audio quality as high as I can get it without too much time and effort.
And I don’t remember who said ’swish’ or why, but it means ‘flash’ or high class.
Tomorrow is moving day. Hoorah!
June 1st, 2006 at 1:07 am
Good luck with the move! I don’t envy you–moving is such an exhausting way to spend a day.
The sound quality was a bit noisy in show #24, but no problems. I’m glad you guys decided not to make us Uncle Junkies wait another week. As far as show length–I have a preference, but I think it’s best to follow your instincts. Some segments might run long, but you learn from that and get better over time. I think it’s better not to structure your creativity (or chemistry, sense of fun, whatever) too much. Just have fun, and we’ll have fun!
Here’s something you might want to experiment with. Most couple shows spend extra time as the couple negotiates whether to move on, what to discuss next, whether to keep going with the current topic, and so on. It’s just a part of couplehood and fairness, but in this case it’s in the podcast. It’s not a bad thing at all, but what would happen if you didn’t allow yourselves that “in-process” negotiation? In other words, just do what each of you wants in the moment, and it’s OK if the other says, “Wait, I have one more letter I want to read. Here it is: Phibes writes…” You’d have to be more spontaneous. Sure, have an overall plan before starting the recorder (Intro, greeting, letters, Smut Report, voicemail, then ‘bye) so you know where you’re going, and maybe have your own private lists of things you want to say or letters you want to read. After that, just do the show, letting it unfold as you naturally take turns leading the discussion. I don’t know if I’m describing this well, but I think it would be fun to hear you two do a show without checking in with each other about the show itself. For instance, when she’s ready Jana might say, “OK, let’s hear the ‘Cooking with Jana’ music.” Zan might hit the button right away, but he might say, “Just a moment, we just got this important comment from Zebulon, who said . Thanks, Zebulon. And now…” Then Zan starts the music for Jana. After the segment, if Zan had another letter he wanted to read, he could say, “You know, here’s one last note I didn’t read before…” and so on. The show might be less perfectly structured, but it would be a spontaneous result of the two of you doing what you enjoy in the moment, and having fun at it, as you both “drive” at the same time.
I thought of you two last night, while watching “The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson.” Craig is a Scottish actor & comedian, perhaps best known here in the States for his role on “The Drew Carey Show.” He does a brilliant monologue every night, and he tossed in an ad-lib which you two have mentioned on the show as an Australianism. I wish I could remember it now, it was great, and the only time I’ve ever heard the phrase on American TV!
I enjoyed your discussion of the word cunt. Ah, yes. Cunt. Great word, cunt. I used to treat it with proper American repulsion, until two things happened. First, as a Monty Python Fan, I was familiar with a fantastic Michael Palin line from “Monty Python and The Holy Grail: A peasant hears King Arthur tell the story of the Lady of the Lake, and responds, “Look, mate… If I went ’round saying I was an Emperor, just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they’d put me away!” Well, an Iranian friend’s wife was British, and with my friend’s encouragement, at an after-work get-together at a bar, I asked her what “bint” meant, explaining the context.
“I think that means coont,” she said, in a friendly but matter-of-fact way. I really didn’t understand, so I asked her to repeat it.
“Coont. You know, coont!” she said, smiling. Suddenly I understood, with some embarrassment. I realized that part of my difficulty was the cultural difference. Here she was, a young, attractive woman, out with her husband and his friends, having just met this American male with a rather direct question. It was hard for me to imagine any woman answering that question, especially with her charm and grace, so I wasn’t prepared to consider that she’d said “cunt” to me several times. I found this oddly endearing.
The second event was a gift of a record by Peter Cook and Dudley Moore from their “Derek and Clive” series. You could say it was desensitization therapy for the word “cunt.” Some of the humor was racist, homo-erotic, or otherwise way over the top for me, but most of it was infectiously funny in a completely new way for me.
So now, in carefully selected company, I freely say “cunt”. I’ve certainly met a few cunts over the years, male and female, and even worked for one, and that’s what I call them. Often I use it for humor, but I just realized I always use a Peter Cook-type-accent when I do that! Once in a great while I use it in anger, when I’ve been screwed over by some cunt. In this sense it is a vile word for vile people.
Oddly enough, I never use it in the boudoir for its most obvious purpose. That would be a show-stopper, I’m afraid. American women seem to prefer “pussy,” perhaps due to its warm, soft connotation, but they’re more comfortable hearing it than saying it, if you’ll forgive the generalization. Most of them just say, “down there,” or “me,” as in, “I want you inside me.” The clinical words don’t work, either. I’ve never heard any one say, “Oh, touch my vulva/clitoris/labia,” or, “Put your penis in my vagina.” And thank goodness for that–I suspect my unavoidable laughter wouldn’t be appreciated at such a delicate moment.
That would make for an interesting poll: “What word do you most commonly use to refer to your genitalia, and your partner’s?” I agree with Zan- “cock” is good. I mean, it’s a good word, with a nice sound. “Penis” is funny, “dick” and “prick” are too often used as insults, and most of the rest sound silly, like “man meat.”
While I’m on the subject, maybe a good future segment could be about Talking Dirty in bed. Some partners have wanted me to talk dirty, but they can’t explain or demonstrate what they mean. Perhaps listeners could chime in, similar to the superpowers show, with their thoughts, turn-ons and turn-offs for sexy talk. And you two would be perfect to host the segment and add your thoughts.
Wow, long note!
Cheers,
-Vibeeen
June 1st, 2006 at 1:18 am
Hey, I just noticed that text between “greater-than” and “less-than” symbols doesn’t appear in comments. I guess the board software is trying to parse HTML. Anyway, one sentence should read:
Zan might hit the button right away, but he might say, “Just a moment, we just got this important comment from Zebulon, who said [insert comedy here].”
Hopefully square brackets work better!
-V
June 1st, 2006 at 6:02 am
Zan and Jana,
I have so many comments don’t know where to start: AND ZAN, before u make any snotty comments about my spelling….I HAVE DSYLEXIA
Australian Movies:
Man from Snowy River, I actually like that movie….There is a Part 2 which is really crappy. I should send you a picture that I took of myself at Mount Kosisco.
The Dingo Eat My Baby with Meryl Streep, I actually saw that movie just about 2 weeks before I went to Australia. The odd thing was that my ex-girlfriend actually knew the Mother of the woman whose baby was taken. She lives in Nowra NSW where we lived for a while.
What is the name of the Australian Movie, it’s a comedy about the Family Living near an Airport or Planned Airport….probably late 90’s show
You forgot a few other Australian Movies in your reviews:
1. The one about the Brumbies cant remember the name…I was not too impressed
2. All the Rivers Run, I personally loved that series
3. We used to get a really crappy show here, I think the name was “Prisoner� about a bunch of really ugly women in a female prison… I hope the world does not think that all Australian women look like that
4. Skippy, now that was a load of Crap. I think it was filmed in the National Park in NSW between Sydney and Wollongong… Beautiful Country, I used to ride through it all the time. It makes non-Australians think kangaroos are cute, intelligent animals. They don’t realise how dangerous it is when they hop in front of a car or bike.
Sideline, the first weekend I was in Australia, I was looking at the Bathurst 500 on the tele. One of the Race Cars come around a blind corner to see a kangaroo hopping in front of him on the track………Funny, but potentially lethal, however it ended ok for both the Driver and the Kangaroo
Recepies:
Jana, I once had some damper on a Christmas day, which had part of the inside removed and filled with Avocado……….Yummy, you would break of a piece of damper and dip it inside the avocado mush………….I have tried a few times but I have not been able to make damper, or at least damper that served no other purpose than a boat mooring.
Sticky Date Pudding with Toffee………………..That’s my favourite, and I have made it successfully with recipe from the internet……….Jana you should share that with your listeners.
Trashing the small Commonwealth Countries at the games.
First let me explain that I don’t like cricket, and if I did, I would back Australia.
But cricket gives the small commonwealth countries a chance to thrash Australia and more importantly the POMMIES……………Trinidad for example that is one of the countries that makes up the West Indies team is only about 70km long by 70km wide, with a population of 1.4 million.
And we picked up a silver medal at the Olympic games in Parramatta. We also got a few Gold Medals in swimming at last Olympic Games. Sorry about vague info, but unless we I can drive it, ride it or sail it, its not much interest to me. I like Auto sport, Motorcycles and Sailing.
I was at Phillip Island when Mick Doonan won his 5th consecutive world championship….probably 1999…………That was a glorious day
I have down loaded all the shows now, and have listened to Episodes 01 – 15 and 23 and 24
I am new the world of pod casting only about 3 weeks experience. But I have checked out at least 30 sites…………………….WITHOUT ANY DOUBT, Bob’s yer Uncle is the best for:
1. Varied Content
2. Humour
3. Information
The others can’t hold a candle to it:
Keep up the excellent work, and you can never have too much SMUT, but then I am a bit of a perve…………………………BRING ON THE SMUT
I am putting together some questions for Uncle Bob, hope they are not too outrageous?
Enough blabbering for now……hope to hear from you soon
If you should refer to me on the show, I want the name Larrakin
June 1st, 2006 at 9:30 am
Dear Uncle Bob,
I need your advice concerning matters of the heart, or should I say the groin.
My Auntie Miranda has recently started to make sexual overtures to me. Let me point out that she is in her eary 40’s and could easily pass for mid-30’s. Auntie Miranda is one extremely hot number. She is also only about 5 years older than me
I am in a dilemma as I would like to shag Auntie Miranda something awful. I have fantasised about doing her since puberty, maybe even before.
There is the added complication of her twin daughters in their late teens. Cindy and Mindy, who have also shown interest in being more than kissing cousins, I have deducted this as when ever I stay at their holiday home at the beach. Cindy and Mindy devise various methods to get me alone in compromising situations. The last time I was there they insisted that I join them in the shower to scrub their back and shampoo their hair.
My reckoning is this that Auntie Miranda is only my fathers ½ sister. And since my dad has been shagging my mum for decades, why can’t I poke his sister and her daughters. Besides as I mentioned they are only ½ Auntie and Cousins, while dad has been banging my full mum.
You seem quite experienced in complicated intimate situations. What would you suggest?
I will await your response before deciding one way or another. I hope you answer soon as this is creating extreme discomfort. “Blue Balls�, you understand.
Yours respectfully Larrikin
Ps. Should Auntie Miranda, Mindy and Cindy suggest a fouresome with yours truly, what should I do?
June 1st, 2006 at 9:39 am
Regarding the word “Cunt”, which I personally think is the most beautiful word ever devised. Here a a website that your listners may enjoy
http://www.bettydodson.com/
I personall get very turned on when a woman refers to her cunt rather than pussy or some stupid 6 year old termoligy like winkie or some rediclous name.
my wife knows that it drives me wild whe she says ” Come and suck my cunt”…
Larrikin thr perve
June 1st, 2006 at 12:50 pm
If you have to switch to a “string and tin can” methodology, I would like to request my can now please. Since I am on the west coast of the United States I think it is almost a straight shot for the really long string.
kevin
June 1st, 2006 at 12:53 pm
Larrikin (John),
Can I be the first to say, … “Holy Shit!” I didn’t realise T&T was so near Arkansas!
WOW!
June 1st, 2006 at 1:22 pm
Larrikin wrote:
> http://www.bettydodson.com/
Cool site! I’ll have to look for her books. Thanks!
-V
June 1st, 2006 at 5:06 pm
Vibeeen wrote:
Zan might hit the button right away, but he might say, “Just a moment, we just got this important comment from Zebulon, who said [insert comedy here].�
Thanks, Vibeeen! Will the following do?
The word ‘cunt’ has its first recorded use when it appears in a list of London street names written about 1230. The street was called Gropecuntelane (all one word), one of a warren of streets and alleyways given over to prostitution.
The ground it crossed belonged to William de Edmonton at the time, and it lay between Aldermanbury and Coleman Street. Oxford and York apparently also had similar versions of the London street name, but the London one was recorded first.
A bit later, medieval Paris had a street name with an identical meaning: Rue Grattecon.
The word cunt is derived from an early Germanic root kunton, meaning the vulva, which gave rise to Old Norse kunta, ancestor of Norwegian and Swedish dialectical kunta and Danish dialectical kunte, and the Middle Low German kunte. After the Romans, Britain was invaded by the Vikings, the Danes and Germanic tribes such as the Angles and Saxons. It thus passed into Middle English as cunte.
In mediaeval times, far from being swearing’s nuclear option, cunte wasn’t even considered derogatory. Spelling was very plastic at this period and several variants are recorded. Chaucer used quaint and queynte as spellings of cunt in Canterbury Tales in 1386.
It wasn’t until the 15th century that it started to be avoided. By 1600, for example, Shakespeare doesn’t include it in his plays at all except as an oblique reference. Hamlet asks Ophelia, “Lady, shall I lie in your lap?” Ophelia replies, “No, my lord.” Hamlet, feigning shock, says, “Do you think I meant country matters?”
We have to wait until the 17th century for it to become obscene and it then dissappears from polite society to only resurface in dictionaries as late as 1961, first of all in Webster’s Third New International.
The first time cunt was used on television was by Felix Dennis in 1970 on the The Frost Programme in the UK, although he mumbled it a little bit, which must have been squirmingly embarrassing for the audience as elderly parents asked their children “What did he say?”
No connection has been made between the Germanic word kunton and Latin word cunnus, both meaning the vulva. The proto-Germanic root of cunt is ku- “hollow place”, while the Indo-European root of Latin cunnus is (s)keu- “to cover, to conceal”, in the sense of “sheath”.
Cunnilingus is a modern word construction of 1887 from the Latin cunnus + lingere “to lick”.
If this Latin were translated properly, cunnilingus would actually would mean “one who licks a vulva”, but it is used in modern English to refer to the action, not the actor - technically the verb ought to be cunnilingue. Although this word is new, the the practice is ancient.
June 1st, 2006 at 5:58 pm
Yeah, the C-word, or the C-Bomb as we call it. I have female friends who would probably not want to talk to me again if I ever said “cunt” in front of them.
So I say it behind them.
June 1st, 2006 at 10:08 pm
Up to Episode 17
I found your show searching for Australian Pod cast. From you I was directed to PK&J
Another Australian Movie to review:
The one with a Teacher who falls for a student……They use the Elton John song Teacher I need you.
Vindi’s Australian Accent
Sorry Vindi, but your attempt of the accent, sounds like Uncle Bob speaking when he is full of rum, after snorting coke and he has his mout full of pubic hairs as he is talking from between the thighs of some young native.
Stand Pipe / Personal Hygene
As I started to listen to the show, I wondered how long before “Where to hide your money� Australian / Pommie joke would kick in
Zana’s description of a communial well is accurate. Its quite common here in rural and poor areas where there are no water connections to houses. You often see people bathing in their underwear at a stand pipe. If I ever get e-mail to you working, I’ll send a pic.
Pommies and Personal Hygene…..This is a Fair Dinkum Tale
Around the mid 70’s I was at school in England. For Christmas I went up to Avimore, Scotland to ski. I met an Australian Girl there. I was 18 and she was 28. So it was extremly educational for me.
But back to the story. A German couple we met in Avimore offered us their apartment in Edinghburugh, so we went to spend New Years there. After a day or two the landlord / owner came knocking on our door. His problem was that the rent paid was based upon 1 bath a week. The lady and I did not even have to discuss it, we just offerd him extra money, so that she could have her daily minimum of 1 bath and I could have my daily minimum of 3 baths.
As a side line the Aussie girls name was Glenys. She was in some sort of TV / Radio production. I tried to find her when I was in Australia in the 90’s, but due to extremly strict privacy laws this prove impossible. So in the odd chance that she is listenig to Bob’s yer Uncle she can contact me.
Larrikin
June 2nd, 2006 at 2:31 am
RE my earlier comment ( Jana wanting to know what kind of things show up in the ER department where people have ” inserted ” things ) First off..theres an equal amount of men and women that come in with this
” problem ” it seems. Many dildos in all shapes and SIZES show up jammed into men and women with varying degress of difficulty to remove.
( often still running )Lots of the ” longer ” vegetables will make appearances…..There was one memorable fellow with a round, sculpted
” headboard ornament ” jammed in his rear really well..The usual muscle relaxants are applied. When the doctor went to help this fellow he was ” shot ” with the exiting object in the chest. The target and bullseye jokes persist to this day. Afterwards the guy wanted to know where his bed decoration was before going home. EEEPP
June 2nd, 2006 at 5:02 am
When Howard Stern made the switch to satellite and was unfettered by the FCC, he started using a word I have since been enamored by: cunty.
Love it. cunty this, cunty that. rolls off the tongue.
June 2nd, 2006 at 8:20 am
Posts………too……..long……to……read…..getting…..dizzy.
June 2nd, 2006 at 12:45 pm
Bloody hell!
We haven’t had internet access for a few days because of the move, and I’ve dropped in at my office today to check up on things and found all these new comments. Maybe we should start a forum …
Things are pretty messy for us at the moment, but we’ll try really hard to record a show this weekend.
June 2nd, 2006 at 1:58 pm
I was about to say, the bad-sounding edition has the most comments ever! Maybe that means something.
On the whole “discussing what to do next during the show” thing. My feeling on couples podcasts (maybe they should be called couplecasts) is the less-planned the better. I think that’s part of the appeal, podcasts aren’t professional. For example, I’ve been trying to listen to The Nate and Di Show and I just can’t stand it, because everything they say sounds so scripted and insincere. The more conversational the couplecast sounds, the better.
June 3rd, 2006 at 6:12 pm
I’ve said my peace/piece/peas. I’m really just padding the comments to get it over 30 while I wait for more BYU and the reclusive yet still sexy Saskia of ASAYL.
Yup. Unscripted is best. I tune in for the easy conversation and enjoy the moments when our thinking is similar.
That and the chance for more cleavage photos.
Of Jana exclusively. Sorry Zan.
June 4th, 2006 at 3:05 am
Uncle Bob, what would you do if:
1. Someone had photographs of you and John Howard in what is obviously homosexual acts. Now I am not saying that you are a poofter, they may have been manipulated on a computer.
2. Pauline Hanson and John Howard are claiming that the Super Hero Twins Zan and Jan are actually their love children that they produced from an illicit affair and were adopted by a family in Melbourne. They are now feeling guilt ridden and want to claim them as their own.
Finally Uncle Bob, could you please explain to the bloody hetan foreigners how to pronounce the following words:
· Melbourne
· Brisbane
I cringe when the Yanks and West Indies Cricket commentators mis-pronunce them. Better add in Bondi as well as they often stuff that one up too
Ya good mate from Ettamogah, QLD, Larrikin
June 4th, 2006 at 3:06 am
I think Episode 20, someone asked if The Super Hero were Twins and married….can you please explain to the foreigners that this only happens in Tasmania
June 4th, 2006 at 3:11 am
I was sitting in Car with Dog, while wifey went into shop in the Plaza to buy cosmetics. We were on our way to Drive in Movie, we take penny to see all the Dog Movies (Shaggy Dog and Eight Below Zero)
While listenig to Bobs yer Uncle on iPod while waiting, I began to look at the ladies passing by and seeing which had muffin tops.
Just then one of your fans mentioned that he also now looks for ladies muffing tops.
Boy did I crack up, people must have thought it was funny seeing a person alone in a car, with only a dog for company, almost peeing himself laughing out loud.
ps some muffin tops can be quite sexy, NOT ALL THOUGH
June 4th, 2006 at 3:14 am
Currently up to episode 20, and you are using a lot of fancy English words latelyKeep it simple speak proper Australian, the yanks, pommies and wogs that don’t understand Australian can just get stuffed.
An Australian Patroit Larrikin……….YES JANA I LOVE AUSTRALIA and dont hide it
June 4th, 2006 at 1:45 pm
Muffin tops! That was it!
Back in post #13, I said that the Scottish comedian Craig Ferguson, who has a Late Late show (12:30AM) here in the States, had used an Australianism in his monologue, but I couldn’t remember what it was.
It was Muffin tops!
-Vibeeen
June 4th, 2006 at 3:35 pm
Oh, I don’t know if it’s an Austalianism. I’ve been hearing “muffin top” used here for quite a few years, ever since those hip-level pants came into vogue. A few months ago, our newspaper even had an article on the phenomenon. Imagine the entire front of the Entertainment & Life section is a photo of a muffin top! It was enough to put you off your breakfast. I wonder who they got to pose for it!
June 5th, 2006 at 12:09 am
sup homies..
im chillin in the crizzle over here in WA… already sent you this weeks email but i just got back from the footy.. Freo v. Richmond. glad to see Freo come back to take the win.. and however off topic it is id like to know if you follow AFL at all..
and yeah sound qualilty doesnt matter.. SO GET THE **** BACK TO IT.. jk kidding guys…
happy moving
-The Dudemiester… i mean .. uhh Elliott
June 5th, 2006 at 10:31 am
wow almost 40 comments. I’m sitting here waiting for the next show but it’s not here yet so I guess I’ll listen to the last on again. I hope Zan and Jana aren’t trapped under a huge pile of boxes. Hey I wonder what uncle bob would do in that situation. This podcast has the coolest audience. Until next time…